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August 29, 2006



My question is ... if you were happy why was your SO looking? You should stay in your first job from college for at least a year, to get needed experience -- even for online work. And since you love it there, it should be no problem.

I think you should focus on your career and have your SO be supportive of you, too, rather than the other way around. That may be rather personal, but it's how I've always done it. It's lovely to be supportive of your SO, but they should also be supportive of your needs, too.


Teresa will have that one magic year of experience by the time her SO moves. She sounds dedicated to her career but also to her SO. Staying together with someone means you make sacrifices, including your work locale.

Teresa's first job sounds great, but it's not a dream job like her SO's. It's a first job. She also doesn't have to leave right away.

Even if she has to freelance for a while, Teresa will find a way to keep her career. And if she doesn't, then perhaps her SO will have a transfer to make.


I don't buy that. Both partners in a relationship are equal and I certainly wouldn't call her job "a first job" and his "a dream job," she never said anything of the kind. Being a place you really like as a journalist is a great thing, don't underestimate that...ever. Personally, I've had SOs and some come and go, so basing your decisions on their activities at a young age isn't the best decision in my opinion.

When you're married with two kids, then it's a whole different ball game.

A: You're right, of course, that neither the he or the she is necessarily the first job -- either from the employer's point of view, or for the people in the relationship. And in many couples, people take turns deciding who gets to determine the next move, so "first job" gets handed back and forth.

Predicting future behavior on past behavior is not a science -- and people do change -- but people seem to more often act in ways similar to the ways they have in the past rather than to act in opposite ways.

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